Tuesday, March 9, 2010

from the dunkersloot

When I first arrive at the home, I see my father. My father. The look of him makes my chest feel warm. God I love him. Only a few seconds pass before I notice that he is no longer the father I know. This is my father's body, but he is not inside. This man has vacant eyes and a slack expression. This man moves his head in a random manner as if it's slightly out of his control. It hurts my throat to admit that he is not in there. I miss him. I miss his humor and his banter. Today, I asked him if he knew who I was and he responded "certainly." Certainly is a word he used throughout his life. Did you read my report card? Certainly. Do you want a slice of cake? Certainly.

Today, after he admitted his certainty, he said "you're a dunkersloot!"

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